If your anything like us at FAQdaddy, it’s hard to go an hour without releasing the building pressure in your man sacks. However, when your pregnant or recently pregnant lady friend is ‘closed for business’ it can sometimes be hard (ahem) to find another deposit for your ‘babysauce.’

Before you run off to the nearest ATM and make a booking at the local cathouse, remember that coming home smelling of cheap hooker is a sure fire trigger to set off one of oh pregnant ones mood swings. Not only that, but passing venereal disease to your pregnant lady friend (or a ‘Sub-Saharan baby shower’ as it is sometimes called) is just not diddly-doo.

Tempting, but no…

Before you spit your pipe to the floor at the outrage of months, possibly over a year of penile dryness (oh yeah, it can go on for that long…) let me tell you about masturbation. All the kids are doing it! 

It basically involves self stimulation while looking at pictures that excite you.

Oh fuck yeah…. c’mon!

But where’s the romance? The companionship? The love?

Let me introduce you to Catheline.

Ok, so she’s French and she smokes, but she is filthy in the sack. She’ll take one in the front and the back, if you know what I mean.

Speaking of backs…

…nobody likes a hairy one you dirty slut.

Part 2 coming soon!